My high school is St. Patrick’s Reformed Latter Day Saints Catholic or “St. Pat’s” (it was founded by Irish Catholics who converted to Mormonism, then converted back to Catholicism). We’re the Mad Leprechauns, that’s our athletic team name. The mascot is portrayed by a fiery-redheaded fat guy dressed like a leprechaun. He throws gold confetti at pep rallies, from a miniature molded-plastic pot.
Coach Klaus told us we, The Mad Leprechauns Football Team, were going to do things a little differently this year, in a way nobody before had ever done. He said our opponents would be caught completely blindsided, no matter their scouting report’s forewarning.
What you probably need to understand is that regardless of Coach Klaus’s being an out-of-shape man, he was still a man. A man who was playing against boys, regardless of their size and strength. The point is, he had a lot of success at first. He was the only one who was able to break through the line on a blitz and terrorize “The Lion” enough to throw before he was reading, thus leading to interceptions and a sudden reversal of fortunes for our team. For our part on offense, we were able to score another touchdown on a crushing goal line score by Ceau, who then did the exact same to convert for two points afterwards. We were tied 63 all.